Mephedrone: the phantom menace

There has been a lot of inexcusably moronic meowmix said about mephedrone. So much meowmix, in fact, that I decided it would be best to ignore the entire phenomenon completely, because it was making me lose faith in both drugs and humanity. But then again, most people in the US have never even heard of mephedrone, or they think that you're just saying "methadone" with a speech impediment, so I have changed my mind and will now fill you in.

Mephedrone (pronounced with a labiodental fricative feh) is a synthetic stimulant that has become a media sensation of almost unparalleled stupidity in the UK. Vice's British editor, Andy Capper, was actually the first to report on the drug in April 2009 on the Vice blog. "There was a paralyzing mania. I felt totally insane," he wrote. The BBC picked up on it after that. By the end of 2009, new mephedrone horror stories were appearing daily in British tabloids, with bold statements such as "A legal drug known as 'meow meow' led one lad to rip off his own scrotum, police said today." Those enticed to read on find that he ripped off his scrotum because the 'meow meow' made him think he was covered in centipedes. After much research and several frenzied calls to the County Durham police department attempting to find said mephedrone eunuch, I have come to the firm conclusion that this supposed "lad" never existed. Making up an autocastration story like that is simply unacceptable, and if for no other reason I now feel obligated to set the record straight.