Herbal highs will soon be as rare as heroin, say experts

GOVERNMENT plans to ban so called 'herbal highs' will make the drugs as rare as a largely forgotten narcotic known as heroin, experts claimed last night...

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: "History teaches us time and time again that banning drugs is a completely marvellous idea.

"After heroin was banned in 1924, use of the drug immediately ceased and there have been only three documented cases of heroin abuse in the last 85 years, all of them foreigners.

"Similarly a drug called cocaine used to be very popular until it was made illegal. Not surprisingly, all the people who manufactured it immediately stopped and either joined the Red Cross or became primary school teachers."

He added: "Just think, if heroin and cocaine had not been banned then millions of people could have become addicted and it may even have led to the creation of a multi-trillion dollar industry run by insanely violent criminals called 'Pablo'."