'A Christmas Antidote'

Twas the night before solstice and all through the house
all the hipsters were tripping, as quiet as a mouse.
Set and setting were chosen with exquisite care
in hopes that the gods would soon manifest there.
The children were wondering what had gone wrong
so they stayed in their room and just sucked on their bong.
And Ma with her glowsticks and me with my caps
were floating in hyperspace, digging the haps.
When what to my open third eye should appear
but a DMT elf with a flourescent beard.
His image appeared to me in a flash--
and I was so startled I threw up my hash!
His colors reflected on the new-fallen snow--
I was so shocked that I needed some blow.
He sat in a sleigh that was pulled by eight mice--
they were so freaky I had to look twice.
By now all my mushrooms were taking their toll,
so I looked around for some ganja to roll.
But the dude in the sleigh took out a pink pipe
and said, DMT, man--I think that you're ripe.
Well, I'd never tried it so I took a huge hit
and quickly looked 'round for someplace to sit.
But it was too late and I fell to the ground
as my head filled with colors, my ears filled with sound.
"Holy shit!" I cried out and this woke up the kids
who rushed in to see us both flipping our lids.
But they laughed when they saw the strange glowing elf,
while I tried to gain some control of myself.
He winked all four eyes and then twisted his head,
and I thought for a moment that he must be dead.
But he only giggled and went straight to his work,
and I dropped the pipe and he called me a jerk.
DMT spilled all over and mixed with my coke--
he glared with his four eyes and said "You're a joke."
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
he snorted it all, and then up he rose.
He flew to his sleigh and said "mush!" to his team,
but they were stoned too and flew into a beam.
And I heard him exclaim as he fell out of sight,
"Well, I should have known--set and setting weren't right!"

[Dictation from the spirit world by Clark Heinrich, author of Magic Mushrooms in Religion and Alchemy]