It's been a big week for celebrity drug superstars, and some of our favorite heroes are on the ropes. First up, we have the unveiling of Coke Lass, who's true identity was revealed this week to be none other than Lindsay Lohan! Gasp! We're shocked. This week the starlet was seen in photos and
video allegedly snorting cocaine off of various bathroom fixtures in a trendy club. From a recycled tabloid report:
According to the report from the British tabloid, the friend added: "Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it." And she has not managed to stay off the booze either. "She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda."
Next up, we've had a sighting from the notorious Crack Boy, who has been positively identified as troubled UK rocker Pete Doherty. From the neatly worded report at the Daily India:
Babyshambles' singer Pete Doherty once again faces jail time for allegedly keeping drugs. The junkie rock star was locked up overnight after being arrested by cops at Kensington High Street in Central London for having crack cocaine and cannabis.
No Crack Boy! Say it isn't so! Didn't Doherty claim just last week that he had cleaned up for his arraignment with the magistrate? With this new twist, who knows what Crack Boy's future will be? Will he go to jail? Will someone else step up to claim the magic pipe? Only time will tell.
And finally, we round out our all-star trio with the capture of the elusive Meth-matician, an infamous celebrity drug vacuum known by his alter-ego Tom Sizemore.
Actor Tom Sizemore, still on probation for a drug rap, was arrested Tuesday for investigation of possessing methamphetamine as he sat in a car outside a Bakersfield hotel, police said.
Sizemore, 45, of Calabasas, was arrested after drugs were found in his car outside the Four Points Sheraton hotel, Detective Greg Terry said.
If that's not seedy enough, he also had his privates in a jar of creamy peanut butter and the time of his arrest (okay, I made that part up). But as you can see, this new celebrity-drug-superstar fighting police unit has wiped the floor with our super-team and is out for new blood. Will our heroes recover to make more mediocre movies, TV shows, and catchy pop songs? Tune in next week for another exciting adventure of The Incorrigibles!
