Worldwide tequila and chocolate shortages?!

Okay, maybe there's a bit of hyperbole to that headline. But in its typical inimitable fashion, Cracked reports on "6 Important Things You Didn't Know We're Running Out Of," including tequila and chocolate.

The fact of the matter is that, currently, cultivating cocoa beans just isn't worth it to the average West African farmer.

Not only is tending to cocoa trees insanely time-consuming (it takes up to five years to grow a new crop), but everything has to be done by hand in often unbearable heat. And at the end of the day, the average cocoa farmer can expect to earn about 80 cents a day for his trouble. That satisfying feeling that his product is contributing to America's obesity epidemic is just not enough anymore, so in fewer than 20 years, chocolate might become an expensive rarity, like caviar. When was the last time you had caviar?

Cocoa beans can be produced outside West Africa, but only within 10 degrees of the equator, an area that you might quickly recognize as including some of the most politically unstable regions on the planet. It would explain why chocolate prices have doubled in the last six years and will only continue to go up.

Tequila is even worse - they just decided to burn a bunch of agave fields to plant corn for ethanol (which DOES NOT TASTE GOOD IN A MARGARITA PEOPLE). Read more at Cracked - of course, the #1 thing we're running out of is water, but srsly, I think people forget we can just accelerate the melting of the polar caps with giant lasers from space.