PayPal
BitCoin
Facebook
Twitter
Amazon
RSS
iTunes

DoseNation Podcast

Weekly news, talk, and interviews. More »

SUGGEST A STORY  |   CREATE AN ACCOUNT  |  
DoseNation.com

New ‘Fairtrade’ drugs to offer junkies an ethical high

Strung out on smack but still wanting to do your part for Planet Earth? Now you have an option, as reported by Newsbiscuit:
‘It just isn’t right that we’re swanning around in expensive cars draped with bling whilst Afghan poppy farmers struggle to feed the family goat,’ said ‘Big Daddy’ Johnson, a narcotics entrepreneur from Streatham. ‘Smack-heads on my patch can rest easy in the knowledge that at least 4% of their dole money will go directly to the farmer who lives under daily threat of violent reprisal from the local drug lord.’

This is a big, big trend. Watch for it.
Posted By amazingdrx at 2009-08-23 02:05:42 permalink | comments
Facebook it! Twitter it! Digg it! Reddit! StumbleUpon It! Google Bookmark del.icio.us technorati Furl Yahoo! Bookmark
» More ways to bookmark this page


GK. : 2009-08-26 18:08:58
Bah. I've been a fan of the onion for years and its humor is relatively overt. At least their articles try and emulate realistic journalism, which ironically reveals the opposite. I was too distracted by how much the writing sucked to get the joke at first glance.
PoisonedV. : 2009-08-25 19:15:45
Some of you commenters are almost as bad as the people who take the onion seriously...
Adam. : 2009-08-24 10:49:17
I knew a guy who was on 5 pharmaceuticals. He scared me so much that I wouldn't sell him weed anymore.
It was actually not having weed that made him kill himself. He hanged himself out of his apartment window. He had PTSD after someone had tried to kill him a long time ago. I never asked how close they got but I felt pretty bad when it came out a month later that weed is a perfect treatment for PTSD.
He might have been a freak but he wasn't harmful and he'd still be alive if psychiatrists even cared about any of us. But they are one of the lobbies keeping his medecine in the hands of people like me. (Pigs: I don't sell anymore - just realizing I said that.)
GK. : 2009-08-24 09:38:47
Ah, guess I missed out on this one by not noticing any humor. Maybe I've just got aspergers or something. Any psychiatrists out there wanna tell me which twenty pills I should take?
henryaj. : 2009-08-24 08:23:53
I appreciate the article's humorous intent, but there's a serious point to be made here. In a world of decriminalised drug supply, governments would be able to guarantee the welfare of those who supply the drug at its source. At present, thousands of innocent lives are ended or otherwise ruined through poverty or in the crossfire of drug wars resulting from developed nations' drug use—more victims of the war on drugs.
GK. : 2009-08-24 00:28:11
It just seems like the author interviewed one dope dealer with questionable claims and then labeled it the blanket truth without further investigation. It could have been a good story though.
GK. : 2009-08-24 00:24:36
This article is disappointing, as it demonstrates a total lack of journalistic credibility. I'm sure some people, including myself, like to sell and/or receive high quality drugs. But the dealer or acquirer is the next to last stop in the path these drugs take. Just because he doesn't throw a heap of inositol or baby formula in the mix doesn't mean it isn't already stepped on. Are you telling me there's an established hard-drug cottage industry, pumping out compassionately pure life sucking dope? Are there union poppy farmers now? Bullshit! At least attempt to prove it.
Adam. : 2009-08-23 14:40:53
No 'lol' here, just a resounding WOW.

If you analyze how the market works, it's not always the most evil people selling drugs... but I've never heard anything at all about it.

Seriously, though. This guy stole a Toyota, on top of the iPhones and MacBook Air (OUCH)... how much frigging dope does he get for a Yaris?!

PoisonedV. : 2009-08-23 12:29:23
I lol'd. But it does have a point.

The comments posted here do not reflect the views of the owners of this site.

HOME
COMMENTS
NEWS
ARCHIVE
EDITORS
REVIEW POLICY
SUGGEST A STORY
CREATE AN ACCOUNT
RSS | TWITTER | FACEBOOK
DIGG | REDDIT | SHARE