If you're like me, you're relishing the release of the new 4th Edition of Dungeons & Dragons. To commemorate, I thought I'd bust out this little chestnut, an old eScottology from 2005. I haven't had a chance to update this column to 4th Edition, mind you, so feel free to suggest mods in the comments.

* * * * *

GAMEMASTER (GM): Okay, so let’s review the notes from last session. Your party had left the safe confines of your apartment to head out for a prearranged meeting with someone you know only as “Roger”. The meeting was set up by your street contact, Larry, who swears that Roger is reliable. Now you are in a seedy bar on the wrong side of town, waiting for Roger to show up. You were told you will recognize him by the fact that he will be wearing a Def Leppard T-shirt. What do you do?
STEVE: I want a drink. Can we afford a drink?
EVIL TED: Yeah, remember I took all that money out of my mom’s purse two game sessions ago?
EDDIE: I’m going to play pinball, but at the same time, I’m going to keep an eye on the back door in case Roger comes in that way.
GM: Okay, roll a skill check.
EDDIE: I got a 4.
GM: You suck at pinball. Now it’s someone else’s turn.
EDDIE: Shit!
EVIL TED: I told you to take more ranks in Pinball, but you had to go and take all those ranks in Making Pot Cookies.
EDDIE: Shut up.
STEVE: I order a beer.
GM: The bartender says, “Let me see some ID.”
STEVE: I show him my fake ID.
(GM rolls a die.)
GM: The bartender is completely fooled. He says, “What kind of beer?”
STEVE: Uh… a lite beer.
GM: Evil Ted, what are you doing?
EVIL TED: Are there any hot chicks around? I have eight ranks of Pick Up Hot Chicks. My Comeliness is 24.
EDDIE: You do not have a Comeliness of 24.
EVIL TED: I do too! It’s balanced out by my Intelligence of 4.
(GM rolls a die.)
GM: There is a hot chick in the booth next to you, but she is sitting next to a big dude who has “I will kill you with my teeth” tattooed on his arm.
EVIL TED: Oh. Okay, I just watch the door for Roger.
GM: Just then, a guy comes in the front door wearing a Def Leppard T-shirt. He has long black hair, and he’s wearing sunglasses.
STEVE: Shit. Is that him?
GM: No one else in the bar is wearing a Def Leppard T-shirt, but let’s face it, Def Leppard is very cool. This might just be someone else who has a great fondness for Def Leppard.
STEVE: I’ll talk to him. I have ten ranks of Suck Up To Dealer. I go over to him.
GM: The bartender shouts, “Hey, you need to pay for that lite beer!”
STEVE: Oh, come on, I would have paid the bartender.
GM: This is a very realistic game, Steve. You didn’t say you paid the bartender.
STEVE: Okay, okay. I pay the bartender. Now I go over to the Def Leppard guy, and I say, “Hey, is your name Roger?”
GM: He looks at you and says, “Who wants to know?”
EDDIE: That is a good come back.
STEVE: I say, “My name’s Steve. I’m a friend of Larry’s. He said you might have some ‘things’ that we’d be interested in.”
(GM rolls a die.)
GM: He says, “Cool. Got some place we can chat?”
STEVE: I take him over to our booth.
EDDIE: Do I see any of this? Did I see that happen?
GM: No, you said you were keeping an eye on the back door, not the front door.
EDDIE: Ah, but I can use Detect Dealer any time I’m within 60 feet of a dealer.
GM: Right. So you’re all at the booth now. The guy says, “I hear you guys are on the lookout for some…” (stage whisper) “…high quality weed.”
EVIL TED: I use Sense Motive. Is this guy a narc?
(GM rolls a die.)
GM: You do not believe he is a narc. It’s possible, however, that he does not actually like Def Leppard.
STEVE: We could ask him questions only a Def Leppard fan would know. I’m a fourth level Butt Rocker; I would know what to ask.
EDDIE: His taste in music is not important.
STEVE: Who would wear a Def Leppard shirt if he doesn’t actually like Def Leppard? This is an important sign of whether we can trust this guy!
EVIL TED: It might just be his work outfit, to give him credibility with his customers. Like a business suit, except it says “Pour Some Sugar On Me”.
GM: The guy is waiting for an answer. What do you do?
EVIL TED: I say, “Yeah… if the price is right.”
EDDIE: Oooh, that was smooth.
GM: He says, “What if I told you I had more than just high quality weed to offer? What if I told you I had… 2-TC-special-G?”
STEVE: Oh my god, the holy grail of designer drugs! If we had some of that, we would so totally be able to get laid!
EVIL TED: I say, “That sounds pretty interesting. But you do understand we’ll have to sample the merchandise before we commit to buying something like that.”
GM: He says, “Naturally. Step into my office.” He gets up and starts to leave out the back door.
STEVE: Wait, “step into my office” – I make an Innuendo check to see what he means.
GM: He means “I have a VW bus parked out back.”
STEVE: Okay, cool.
GM: So he takes you out to the parking lot to his VW bus. You climb inside and are immediately impressed at all the shag carpet.
EDDIE: Is there a disco ball?
GM: There is totally a disco ball.
EDDIE: This rules! Why aren’t we playing Dealer characters? I thought being a Pothead character would be cool, but Potheads can’t afford rides like this and still maintain a decent supply of Doritos.
GM: The guy rolls a spliff and says, “First things first, here’s a taste of my fantastic weed, all the way from Escondido.” He offers it to you, Steve. What do you do?
STEVE: I’m going to take a big toke, but this is important – I’m just going to hold the smoke in my mouth and use Analyze Smoke to figure out where it’s actually from… I rolled a 20!
GM: You determine this pot was grown in a hidden patch within a mile and a half of Lake Wohlford in Escondido, was harvested within the last thirty days, and spent at least two weeks in the trunk of a Chevy Impala before reaching you in Spokane.
STEVE: Sweet. I inhale and pass the spliff to Eddie. I use our secret eye signal to let him know that it’s good stuff.
GM: You had a lite beer earlier – make a Nausea check.
STEVE: Are you serious?
GM: Look at the chart on page 58. Unless you have the Iron Stomach feat, a Nausea check is required whenever two substances are mixed – and in this case, beer and pot are contraindicated in a small percentage of the population, so make a Nausea check.
EDDIE: Give me the spliff before you puke on it.
EVIL TED: I say to Roger, “I think I’ll let Eddie and Steve handle sampling the weed. I’d prefer to sample the 2-TC-special-G… if you don’t mind.”
GM: The guy says, “I figured you would say that. Do you prefer to snort, swallow, inject, or inhale your 2-TC-special-G?”
EVIL TED: My character has ten ranks in Insufflation. I say “I’ll snort, thanks.”
STEVE: I failed my Nausea check.
GM: You are starting to feel nauseated.
STEVE: Shit!
GM: The guy pulls out a mirror and begins carefully preparing a line of strange white powder.
EDDIE: Have you ever tried this stuff before?
EVIL TED: No, but I have Exotic Substances Proficiency and Improved Trip. I should be fine.
GM: Eddie, you are starting to feel a good buzz.
EDDIE: Eeeeexcellent.
GM: Evil Ted, the guy hands you the mirror and a straw and says, “Knock yourself out.”
EVIL TED: I snort the line. Does it burn?
GM: Yeah, it burns a lot. You take two points damage for each of the next three rounds. You also begin clawing at your face.
EDDIE: Do I think he’s in trouble?
GM: You can’t tell, because… your buzz is starting to get very, very weird.
EDDIE: What do you mean, “weird”?
GM: As in… there might have been more than pot in that pot.
EDDIE: Ah, shit!
STEVE: What about me?
GM: You have a penalty of –4 to any movement while you attempt to resist the onset of nausea. If you do anything at all, you will have to roll a Saving Throw against Vomiting.
EVIL TED: Is it working at least? Am I starting to get high?
GM: Oh yes, it’s definitely working. In fact, you are already starting to get higher than you have ever been before. The guy starts laughing at all of you. Evil Ted, make a Saving Throw against Took Too Much.
EVIL TED: My Unfounded Confidence ability gives me a +10 on this save, so I get a total of 27.
GM: You stabilize and start to plateau on the substance.
EVIL TED: Okay, now that I’m high, I can use my Sudden Insight feat… what’s going on?
GM: It occurs to you that the next time you get offered a pile of strange white powder by a stranger, you might just possibly want to ask about the dose.
EVIL TED: That does it. I use Summon Psychedelic Entity and sic an elf on this punk’s ass.
GM: That only works on other high people. The guy never actually took a hit off that spliff. However… Steve and Eddie are both high, and both need to make a Saving Throw against Irrational Fear or they will both start having a Bad Trip.
STEVE: I failed my saving throw.
GM: You vomit all over everything as you start screaming in terror.
EDDIE: Can I tell what else I’m high on now?
GM: Yeah, there was PCP in that pot.
EDDIE: Great, that means I get a +6 to Brawl and all my damage is delayed until I come down, right? I’m going to beat the living shit out of this guy.
GM: Sorry, but you know full well Potheads aren’t allowed any violent actions. If you were playing a Pro Athlete, you could use Roid Rage, but you aren’t.
EDDIE: All right, how about I use Levitate Munchies to try to get a bag of Doritos to smack into his face?
GM: I’ll allow that.
STEVE: You say I vomit all over everything… can’t I make an attack roll to vomit on the guy’s lap in a stream?
GM: Oh. Hmm, yeah, he doesn’t have any cover, so that should be fine.
EVIL TED: Exactly how high am I getting here? Is this a fourth level high? Fifth level high?
GM: It’s an eighth level high. You’re losing a Wisdom point for every level past your actual character level that the high increases.
EVIL TED: Yeah, but my character is an Urban Shaman – and the higher I get on any substance, the more powerful this next action will be. I direct Contact High at the guy, at eighth level instead of fifth like normally. (He rolls a die.) I got a 20! Does it affect him?
GM: Wow, yeah… he suddenly starts screaming something about “where did all these flying monkeys come from” and clawing frantically at the air.
EVIL TED: Can I see straight?
(GM rolls a die.)
GM: Through the intense multi-colored swirling and the powerful pulsing of the universal tapestry, you are able to make out the situation, and the van door.
EVIL TED: I shout “Follow me!” and charge out of the van. I do a Spot Pigs check… any cops around?
GM: Nope.
EVIL TED: Great. I drag Eddie and Steve back into the bar with me. Is our booth still open?
GM: Actually, no. Curiously enough… your contact Larry is sitting in your booth. There’s a guy with him you don’t recognize… a guy wearing a Def Leppard shirt.
STEVE: But… but if this is the real Roger… who was that other guy??
GM: And that, gentlemen, is a mystery that will have to wait until next week’s session…

Our pal Jennifer Dumpert alerted us to an interesting event coming up this weekend:

On Sunday, October 12, I'll be leading a special session of the Oneironauticum as part of the Women's Visionary Congress at Wilbur Hot Springs.

Participants in the event will be invited to partake of a tea made with the herb Calea zacatechichi, a plant used by indigenous peoples in the Mexican state of Oaxaca for the purposes of oneiromancy, a form of divination based on dreams. In some Mesoamerican cultures, people believe that dreams happen in realms beyond those we consciously perceive and that the contents of dreams can convey meaningful messages or prophecy. The herb also induces lucid dreaming.

Calea zacatechichi, a member of the sunflower family, grows from central Mexico south to Costa Rica. The leaves are dried and made into a very bitter infusion. Sunday night, Visionary Congress participants who choose to will explore the realm of dreams as visionary experience, using Calea zacatechichi as an ally.

As always, remote participation in the Oneironauticum is encouraged. Unlike most of the oneirogens we usually select, however, Calea zacatechichi may be difficult to find. You can order it online from a large number of herb vending websites, and more exotic health food stores may stock it on their shelves. If you don't acquire the herb, however, feel free to join the group simply by setting your intention to participate in the Oneironauticum on Sunday night. All dream participants, those who attend the Oneironauticum and those who join remotely, are welcome to post to the Oneironauticum blog.

The Oneironauticum has been going on all year:

Throughout 2008, the Urban Dreamscape is hosting monthly overnight gatherings, a series of focused slumber parties each centered around the exploration of a dream enhancement technique. Deriving from the Greek oneiro, or dream, the Oneironauticum brings together like minded dreamers to explore the universal phenomenon of dreams.

If you decide to check it out, be sure to report back!

The second annual Horizons forum is for learning about psychedelics. It seeks to open a fresh dialog about psychedelics and challenges society to rethink their role in history, culture, medicine, spirituality and art. Featuring a small group of dedicated researchers and activists who have orchestrated a renaissance in psychedelic research that is re-shaping the publics understanding of these unique substances. Horizons brings together some of the brightest minds and boldest voices in this movement to share their research, insights and dreams for the future.

Streaming Audio 64kbps: Horizons 2008

Download the complete conference
To download, right click on the file size and save target as:
MP3 ZIP 64Kbps [165 MB]
MP3 ZIP VBR Mp3 [238 MB]
*The Shulgins talk must be downloaded separately.

Individual files can be downloaded from my blog or the internet archive.

This is the story of a man known online as Flash – a man driven to the brink of suicide by the debilitating effects of cluster headaches. After years of ineffectual treatments, Flash stumbled on what he declared was a new treatment, as controversial as it was, he claimed, effective: hallucinogenic drugs.

Flash was ridiculed by the cluster headache community for his "miracle cure". But when a survey of fellow sufferers who self-medicated with hallucinogens was published in the mainstream journal Neurology, the results gave weight to his claims. The Harvard Medical School scientists who conducted the survey have now applied for a preliminary clinical trial on the subject.

I found this article a couple of years ago. It is a review by Carles Sanchis-Segura & Rainer Spanagel of classical psychological conditioning techniques that are used to evaluate the addictive potential of drugs, and to study addictive behavior in animals. It is particularly helpful because it includes clear cartoons illustrating various paradigms such as operant self-administration, conditioned place preference, and several others. Enlightened, wisdom-seeking DoseNation readers will find it very educational; vapid, drug-addled escapist DoseNation readers will get a good chuckle from the cartoons, so it's a win-win situation all around.

Incidentally, I may have graduated from the latter to the former category in the last two years, because I am looking into this paper for a class now, whereas before I was just laughing at the cartoons...

Nine visionary vistas that go on and on and on by Larry Carlson. I would have included one of the images, but they are HUGE, so spend some time on your mouse wheel and enjoy...

"...researchers found that prenatal care providers were not comfortable talking with their patients about dealing with drug and alcohol abuse in spite of routinely mentioning health risks of such behavior on the unborn infant" largely due to the fact that "'Pregnant women are sensitive about being asked about substance abuse and some health-care providers may feel that talking about these issues will compromise the provider-patient relationship, however, the evidence suggests that the benefits of a frank discussion about substance abuse far outweigh the costs to the relationship,' said Dr. Frankel, a medical sociologist."

I wonder why pregnant women may be reluctant to talk about substance abuse with their doctors. Could it be because they fear having their children taken away from them by police?

Of course, the results of this study shouldn't shock any supporters of the Drug Policy Alliance, which already has an excellent write-up on the effects this fear has on the potential health of unborn children and their mothers. Fear of prosecution apparently does not deter drug use, but it does deter them from seeking prenatal care and treatment.

"If you're a young person looking at the future of this planet and looking at what is being done right now, and not done, I believe we have reached the stage where it is time for civil disobedience to prevent the construction of new coal plants that do not have carbon capture and sequestration."--Al Gore speaking at the Clinton Global Initiative

I've long admired practitioners of civil disobedience from Thoreau, to Gandhi, to Martin Luther King Jr. and it is refreshing to hear somebody of Gore's stature advocating civil disobedience as a legitimate strategy. I, however, am not sure as to the efficacy of such an endeavor aimed at the prevention of "the construction of new coal plants that do not have carbon capture and sequestration." It seems a little too nuanced of a position (that some coal plants are okay, but only so long as they utilize a certain technology which mitigates their harms) and if there is one thing I've realized from watching the last two election cycles, it's that the American people don't do well with nuance; the American people need "coal bad, solar good."

Taking the example of the civil rights movement (that of the 1950's to 1960's--again, more nuance), we see that people need dramatic images framed in terms of right and wrong. It was the televised broadcasts of innocent men and women being mauled by dogs and sprayed by fire hoses that aroused the conscience of Americans. I think it would be difficult to frame these coal plant acts thusly. Instead, I see them being dismissed as the isolated actions of tree-huggers--not to be taken seriously. That's not to say it's impossible...solely that their work is cut out for them and a proper frame will be a necessity.

One of the most difficult parts will be garnering sustained media attention, because as a society, we have the attention span of gnats. A mass movement is necessary to raise these actions above the din of the 10 second news cycle. Perhaps if a civil disobedience demonstration were planned for the opening of every single new coal plant that didn't possess carbon capture technology it might be meaningful enough to gain some coverage.

Non-violent civil disobedience, distinguished from other lawlessness by a willful acceptance of the penalty, is a tremendously powerful philosophy--one which the medical marijuana legalization movement would do well to adopt. I've always envisioned a rally on the steps of the Capitol Building with hundreds of patients, the more sickly the better, lighting up and subsequently being arrested. We must harness the lessons of the civil rights movement by employing the power of images. By replacing the image in people's minds of a young person gaming the system in order to get high with that of a police officer hauling off a wheelchair bound cancer patient, we can leverage action by politicians. It is much more difficult to dismiss an injustice when you are confronted with the face of the victim.

The title of the following news article, Mouth not ideal hiding place for drugs, made me laugh out loud. I'm wondering if perhaps the copy editor at the Union Leader might have an ironic sense of humor.

A man tried to conceal six bags of cocaine and heroin from an officer last night by putting them in his mouth, police said.

...Police said he had five bags of cocaine, bundled in one clear plastic sandwich bag, and a sixth bag containing 14 other small bags of heroin.

I would like to finish this article with the story of the man who tried to eat a half-ounce of weed in the time it took for a cop to pull him over on the highway, stems and all. Uck. Any lessons to be learned here?

Bad idea.

OJO CALIENTE, N.M. — State police have arrested a woman who filled her 18-month-old daughter's sippy cup with beer and gave it to her in front of undercover narcotics agents, according to court records.

State police Lt. Juan Martinez said Monday that undercover agents with the Region III Narcotics Task Force were at 21-year-old Virginia Neel-Blaker's home in Ojo Caliente to buy drugs from her and her husband, James Blaker.

The agents saw her give her daughter a sip of beer from a can. Then she allegedly filled up the girl's sippy cup with beer and gave it to the toddler to get her to sleep, Martinez said.

Okay, first of all, WTF? And second of all, doesn't this woman know what children's Benadryl is for? Someone give this woman parenting classes, please.

Despite the authorization of his doctor for lower back pain and arguments by his attorney that opiates made him sick, Robert Dalton of Washington was recently convicted of marijuana cultivation. Superior Court Judge Anna Laurie sided with the "Kitsap County Deputy Prosecutor Coreen Schnepf [who] argued during the trial that Dalton was receiving relief from opiate pain medications and that he needed to have pain that was not relieved by other medications in order to use medical marijuana. It is not known where Schnepf obtained her medical degree."

We can now apparently add judges and prosecutors to the list of professionals guilty of practicing medicine without a license -- right after the police who decide daily whether or not an individual 'looks sick enough' to rightfully possess medical marijuana.

Also, given the evidence that marijuana works synergistically with opiates to alleviate inflammatory pain, allowing patients to use a smaller effective dose of the addictive opiates, it seems foolish to take a 'one or the other' approach to the use of medical marijuana when opiate medications are also involved.

Recognizing that humans have fostered a relationship with psychoactive substances since our evolutionary dawn and, therefore, no prohibitive legislation will curb our appetites for them, I firmly believe that we should instead mitigate the harms associated with their use -- the central tenet of harm reduction theory. Thus, I am heartened to see that Spanish scientists are currently developing a faster, more efficient method for testing the purity of heroin samples, as the wide variability of heroin purity is one of the primary causes of overdose deaths.

The scientists tested the samples using the new analytical method, called Diffuse Reflectance Near-Infrared Spectroscopy (DR-NIR). It involves shooting a beam of infrared light into a sample to determine its chemical composition based on the wavelength of light emitted

Hopefully this technology will find use at safe injection sites and not go the way of MDMA pill testing under the Illicit Drug Anti-Proliferation (formerly RAVE) Act (brought to you by staunch drug warrior, Joe Biden-- who tacked it onto the bill which brought us the legitimate Amber Alert System after it failed twice as a stand-alone bill). In short, since the RAVE Act made concert promoters criminally liable for their patrons' on-site possession, promoters became hesitant to allow pill testing organizations like DanceSafe to allow testing on the premises, as it would amount to an implicit acknowledgement of concert-goers' illegal activities.

A pub near Birmingham, England is helping customers beat a smoking ban by selling electronic cigarettes. Since offering them last weekend, the Butler's Arms have sold six packs at £39.99/each.

From The Telegraph:

The new E.cig smokes like a real cigarette and users get a shot of nicotine every time they inhale.

The device even produces a cloud of water vapour with every puff, though causes no harm to smokers...

(Proprietor Chris) Giles said: "When it's freezing outside and chucking it down with rain it's a good alternative to going outside for a cigarette.

"We built a smoking shelter, but it's just not the same for smokers who have been marginalised by the ban...

"Luckily we can tell people aren't really trying to light up because the electronic ones are black in colour with a blue light," (says bar assistant manager Becky Giles.)

"Pub uses electronic cigarettes to beat the smoking ban"

CSSDP and MAPS have posted some mp3 recordings from the Entheon Village Lecture Series held at the 2008 Burning Man! The links are listed below for your convenience. All you need to do is right click and "save as." Should you have any of the other talks, please email me or post the links in to the comments of this entry. Last but not least, if you find these talks of value please donate to MAPS.

Sasha and Ann Shulgin
MAPS/Shulgin_Sascha_Ann.mp3

Rick Doblin:
entheon08/doblin_1.mp3
entheon08/doblin_2.mp3

Sameet Kumar, Matt Johnson, Alicia Danforth:
entheon08/panel1_1.mp3
entheon08/panel1_3.mp3

Troy Dayton, Randolph Hencken, and Rick Doblin:
entheon08/panel2_1.mp3
pinchbeck_1.mp3

Daniel Pinchbeck:
entheon08/pinchbeck_2.mp3
entheon08/pinchbeck_3.mp3

Charles Shaw:
entheon08/shaw_1.mp3
entheon08/shaw_2.mp3

Mateusz Skutnik is an artist and game author. He specialises in escape games - from the funny and cartoon-like Great Living Room Escape and Great Kitchen Escape, through candy-sweet Escape Artist, to somewhat creepy Daymare Town. Another project of his is the Submachine series: a mysterious, dark world filled with strange machines you have to use to find your way through.

In a typical escape game you are locked in a room and, using the objects available, have to find a way of getting out. Skutnik's games often go beyond that, closer to classic adventure games, and Submachine 4: The Lab goes even further. On the website it's called "the largest and most mind-bending of all the Submachine games" and this description seems very suitable...

What do we have here? A journey through several strange, deserted places. An abandoned note about the "greatest puzzle" that borders on theology. And a few sentences of "Help" (available by clicking the "?" sign): "(...) Don't be afraid. Be careful. Stay focused."... I guess he only forgot to add "Just breathe".

Generally it's a good example how "stupid games" can actually become very clever and even philosophical. But it will surely make some people ask about what inspired the author... If you are able to find all the "secrets" - tiny blue balls - you will be shown sources of inspiration like the view from the author's window. But is this all?...

It's so wrong and yet so, so right. Thanks to Spike for the tip.

I often overhear people joking about the things they've done in their past that would disqualify them from running for public office. Some people, however, just have to take it a step further, such as this unfortunate fellow up in Vancouver:

An NDP candidate has dropped out of the race after videotape surfaced showing him dropping hallucinogenic drugs and driving while smoking marijuana.

Old video surfaced showing Dana Larsen lighting a mouth stuffed full of marijuana joints, taking hallucinogenic drugs and driving while stoned. Clips shown on television news show Mr. Larsen taking hallucinogenic drugs including LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) and DMT (dimethyltryptamine).

After taking DMT, he was shown driving a vehicle.

"We finished our psychedelic voyaging for the evening and now we're just driving home, smoking our very last joint that I rolled in advance," Mr. Larsen said on tape from the now defunct pot.tv.

I'm not sure what's the silliest aspect of this gentleman's behavior - the reckless driving, the reckless videotaping, or the reckless running for office knowing that reckless video of reckless driving is out there somewhere. Obviously "after taking DMT" could easily mean that he was no longer under the influence of DMT at the time he got in the car - and actually, rolling a joint in advance shows a certain thoughtfulness, perhaps an aptitude for central planning, that just might come in handy in public office. Still, it's an important object lesson for the youth of today, a generation that willingly flushed its privacy down the toilet in favor of constant Facebook status updates: a true politician always buries the evidence.

I just love any story that pops up with a headline like this:

Pictured: The self-propelling 'cocaine submarine' that can travel from South America to the U.S.

The pictures aren't actually great, but it's nice to know pertinent details such as:

The vessel was likely capable of traveling from South America to the U.S. coast without stopping for fuel or supplies, said the Coast Guard.

I'm sensing a theme for an adventure cruise...

The UK Drugs Policy Commission says classifying illegal drugs on a “danger scale” of classes A, B or C needs to be overhauled because they do not affect drug use.

The news comes ahead of a meeting this Friday when the Home Office’s independent Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs will discuss whether to downgrade ecstasy from class A.

However the Commission warned the council in a submission that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is likely to over-rule any decision to downgrade, in a re-run of the row over cannabis earlier this year.

Roger Howard, Chief Executive, UK Drug Policy Commission, told The Daily Telegraph yesterday: “The purpose and operation of the drug classification system has become increasingly confused amongst politicians and the public in recent years.

“The time has come for an independent wholesale review of the system to clarify how a scientific rating of drug harms should be used for drug classifications and for wider applications such as setting policing priorities or public health messages.”

These stories are becoming so common in the UK that this is becoming a mainstream position; sadly, as the article says, the chances of the current regime (which has introduced around one new criminal offence a day since gaining power!) acting on these recommendations are slim at best.

Heh. "Crack"s me up... yes this is silly, but at least it's drug-related silliness.